This is one of my favourite posts. I used to write so much better than do I now. *sigh*
It was a sultry Monday in July at the time. I remember it quite clearly (takes a sip of his coffee, and thinks back with a pang of nostalgia at the bitter-sweet irony of life and continues with the story after making a rather long and pointless parenthesised comment, a pathetic attempt to amuse himself and others). It was my 3rd or 4th week in PS in the 11th and we were being rigorously schooled in the procedures and protocols of the Chemistry laboratory.
Thinking myself too good for the institution, I was acting cool. Hands in pockets, lips pursed and an air of indifference about me, I stood in the back and paid little heed to the useful (coughs to hide laughter) information being disseminated by Mrs. Anandavalli & Sundari.
Fatman, also uninterested in what they had to say, was a model of restlessness beside me. No longer able to bear his constant fidgeting, I put out a tentative feeler, “What’s up da?” This was at a time when Fatman & I weren’t the bosom buddies we are now. We struck up an conversation about humdrum topics such as who he knew in Sishya, the weather and why Jaya (the lab attendant) yelled so much. The focus shifted to music, and Fatman, being something of an enthusiastic show-off, proceeded to inform me of his vast knowledge of the English music scene (to his credit, he knows a fair bit).
He interrogated me on my tastes and preferences. Having heard Robbie Williams’s “Come Undone,” only days previously, and being quite impressed by it, I dropped that singer’s name. With a triumphant “Aha!” Fatman seized the opportunity to tell me that he was well aware of Mr. Williams’s style and several of his songs, one of them being “Heavy Entertainment.” He proceeded to sing the chorus rather badly, with a pained expression on his face, “Heeaaaaavvvvvvyyyyyy Entertainment!”
I hadn’t heard the original, though after this rendition, I hastily made a mental note not to listen to it. However, as Fate decreed it, I bought a CD that very December that had a song by Robbie Williams on it. It was called “Let Me Entertain You.” As I’ve mentioned before, I quite like his music, so I put the track on. Listening to it, Fatman’s scrunched-up face and arms flailing in an attempt to imitate a guitar came to mind. I immediately collapsed on the bed in peals & spasms of laughter.
In my car, a few days later, I played Fatman the song, and insisted that he listen to it. Being the lying ass that he is, he swore, upon his mum, dad, and several ancestors, that he had uttered the same words Robbie was crooning, that fateful day in the lab.
To this day, he denies any such incident.
But you, (hopefully amused) reader, do know the truth. And truth it is I tell.